Mmmmmm Butter Goodness

Buttery Goodness Now America's Top Domestic Product

And who could be surprised by that?

Baltimora - Tarzan Boy

Better than the Listerine Commercial.

Me Sleepy

I've been getting up very early the last couple of days. Driving the wife to the airport yesterday (3:30 a.m. wake up time) and then a trial set for today (4:00 a.m.). Of course, the trial didn't go and was rescheduled to July 2nd. At which time, it may or may not go again. Sigh. I could try to get some sleep now but I'm too busy typing this.

And I have the Fish Head song and Tarzan Boy stuck in my brain running in heavy rotation. Arrrrrrgh!

Does Anyone Want to Win This Division?

Well, the Brewers FINALLY won a game. Held on by the hair on Coco Cordero's chinny chin chin. Fortunately, no one else in the division seems able to win a series and gain any ground. The Cubs, the supposed class of the division, can't get out of their own way and Sweet Lou Piniella is heading to a nervous breakdown.

Of course, the Brewers can't count on everyone else losing the rest of the season. And they can't count on playing the Pirates and Nationals all year long. They're a young team but they need to find a way to pull themselves together. And finding a replacement for Dave Bush might not be a bad idea. He's pitching tomorrow and will doubtlessly get lit up. Sure, he's a number 4 or 5 starter but geez he's automatic. An automatic loss. Hopefully, the Cubs will get shellacked too.

Canoe Canoe

Chased around with the wife yesterday. Went to the Bass Pro Shop in Bolingbrook (IL) and looked at their canoes and boats. I'd like to get a nice motor boat but it really wouldn't make much sense. We don't have a summer cottage on the lake (yet) and thus have nowhere to store the thing. And with gas prices what they are now a tank of fuel could well run over $150 a pop.

So a short term option might be a nice canoe. Much cheaper than a boat. Less cost on gas (even if we get a small side mount motor). And it can be hung from the rafters in the garage. My dad and I used to go canoe fishing up in northern Wisconsin at Lost Lake. Plus, if we actually do decide to paddle it would be like, exercise. Win-win!

Take On Me

Greatest video of the 80s.

Losing Lost

Well, the two hour season finale of Lost was last night. I stayed up for a whole 35 minutes of it. Not that it was bad. I was just beat after getting up too dang early yesterday morning. Plus chasing around court all day and doing depositions took quite a bit out of me.

So, I just kicked online and "googled" a Lost synopsis site and caught up just fine. I don't know what it says when I can feel just as satisfied reading a synposis as I can having actually watched a show. Maybe it means that I still care enough about the show and characters to want to know what's happening but not so much that I feel empty inside when I miss seeing it. That never would have happened with Buffy. She was truly "must see T.V."

I think while I like Lost (and 24 for that matter), appointment T.V. was better when the appointment could be made with the wifey who has been on the road doing the consulting thing. Hopefully, reading this won't get her all verklempt since it's just a temporary state of affairs.

The Pot Calling the Kettle

So former President Jimmy Carter says that the current administration is the worst in history. Apparently, he's completely blocked out his miserable four years in office from his mind. And who could blame him? Apologists have commented that much of the problems the Carter administration encountered in the late 70s were not of President Carter's own creation but inherited. Of course, that explanation can be (and has been) used by every presidency for just about any adverse event that occurs. The Clinton administration has been criticized for events "leading" to 9/11. Whether that criticism is fair remains for history to decide.

The real question is what did a particular president do to solve the problems? In President Carter's case, not much. His indecisiveness in dealing with the power vacuum in Iran after the Shah was deposed lead to the Islamic revolution and the infamous hostage crisis which took 444 days to resolve. The release of the hostages on the day of Ronald Reagan's inauguration was a final slap to the face of sniveling Carter administration.

President Carter bemoaned American "Malaise" as the cause of the nation's problems from the energy crisis, to inflation, to the loss of American status on the foreign policy front. Gutting the military in a knee-jerk reation to Viet Nam didn't help. He played host to Egyptian President, Anwar Sadat, and Israeli Prime Minister, Menachim Begin as they truly risked their lives on the quest for peace. And years after trying desperately (treasonously) to thwart the international coalition being gathered for the first gulf war, President Carter won his Nobel Peace Prize. For his good works with Habitat for Humanity? For his insightful diplomacy on the international front? Nope and nope. He won as part of an international effort to embarrass President George W. Bush. How laughable.

President Carter has lauded tyrants from Yugoslavian Marshal Josef Tito to, North Korea's Kim Il-Sung, Romanian dictator Nicolai Ceaucescu and, of course, Cuba's Fidel Castro (above photo), Venezuelan "President" Hugo Chavez (photo bottom left) and of course, Palestinian terrorist, Yasser Arafat (photo bottom right). President Carter's Chamberlain-esque voice of appeasement is undoubtedly welcome in the halls of many enemies of democracy, freedom and America.

Maybe PETA can protest against President Carter for his shameless assault on the so-called Killer Rabbit.

Above, true archival photograph of President Carter swinging an oar with murderous intent at the Killer Bunny. Anya would be so proud (even if she was a Republican).

Below are some more pictures of President Carter and his friends.




Update: President Carter retracts and/or clarifies his criticism of President Bush. See the article here.

24

Season six of 24 is almost over. One more episode next week. Two hours long. Hopefully, it will have a satisfying resolution to an otherwise uneven season and story arc(s).

What will be resolved? The whole Chinese Connection plot? Who cares? What I want to know is how the heck the super-competent CTUites manage to get infiltrated and/or invaded every single season. It could be the "redshirts" they keep hiring. But with Star Trek and its progeny off the air, disposable cannon-fodder needs an outlet.

All the other story lines are meaningless. For crying out loud, L.A. was nuked. Where do you go from there? More and bigger nukes? Everything else is kind of a step back. Something definitely needs to be punched up. The whole Chloe/Morris/Milo/Nadia quadrangle has been broken up. At least Kim hasn't been around to whine her way through the show. I would say that they could focus more on the personal relationships of the characters but . . . BORING. The only time relationships should come into play should by when someone dies. Period.

Maybe CTU security can be breached by vampires next and then Jack Bauer would have to inflitrate the vampire coven to retrieve the remnants of the Gem of Amara before the KKK utilize it to create an invulnerable army to repeal civil rights at which time Jack becomes addicted to human blood and Audrey needs to uplink the Shanshu Prophesy to the CTU database but Chloe and Morris are bumping uglies in Bill Buchanan's empty office and don't notice that the KKK has a mole in CTU who has transferred all of American's anti-vampire data to a neo-Nazi sect operating out of Idaho who is trying to frame the Republican Party (who are not reactionary enough for their tastes) by assassinating President Wayne Palmer's brain which has been kept in office in a jar in the White House despite the Vice President's repeated attempts to manipulate Tom Lennox into replacing the brain with the brain of Richard Nixon which has been cryogenically frozen in a bunker at Camp David but the Vice President's operatives inadvertently drop Nixon's brain and replace it with Abbie Normal Hoffman's brain who once in power intends to taint the American food supply with psychotropic mushrooms in an attempt to come up with an interesting plot line for future seasons of 24.

OK, breathe.

Michael Vick Dog Fighting

Michael Vick has sold the property which he says his family "mis-used" by engaging in dogfighting. He has sold the $700,000 property for about a 50% loss. Whether Vick actually had knowledge of or engaged in the dogfighting remains to be determined but given the trouble he and his brother continually find themselves in, it's not hard to imagine that they would be involved in something like this.

That said, dogfighting is the domain of the moron. Guys (yes, I'm assuming the vast majority of dogfighting "fans" are guys) like that are definitely low on the IQ scale and probably are missing more than a few DNA chromosomes. It's the dogfighting fan that makes professional wrestling fans seem like cultural elites. Yech.

Update: Washington Redskins running back Clinton Portis issues a proclamation on the Mike Vick dog fighting issue: "I don't know if he was fighting dogs or not, but it's his property, it's his dog. If that's what he wants to do, do it. I think people should mind their business." Regardless of the legality and cruelty. To read everything this mental pygmy has to say click here.

Getting Gassed

Gasoline prices are now around $3.35 around the Chicago suburbs. Why? For once, it's not OPEC's fault. The price per barrel has remained relatively stable at around $60 give or take. So what's with the price spike? Essentially it comes down to the oil companies' refusal to invest in their own infrastructure and pocketing the profits.

British Petroleum has had some wide spread oil pipeline breakdowns. Many oil refineries in the United States are working undercapacity because of shut downs caused by faulty facilities. Would a government mandate ordering the oil companies to spend on upgrading and maintaining their infrastructure violate a "free market"? Not really when you consider the protections and natural monopolistic natures of the oil industry. It's not like local mom and pop stores can just jump into the market and threaten Amoco's niche. Even the local gas station owners are feeling the squeeze as the oil giants continue to extract every dime out of a nation obsessed with oil consumption. The small franchise ower is finding that the parent companies are bent on cannibalizing their off-spring.

Bill O'Reilly writes a very level-headed article about the oil companies' failure to maintain their facilities. Even the most hardened liberal will be hard pressed to find fault with his analysis. Additional information about the current price spike can be found here.

Government Planning

The courthouse has been a big mess all week. The bank of elevators running to the 12-17th floors has been undergoing "preventative maintenance". Of course, these are the floors that I primarily go to on a daily basis. And naturally, they've been doing the work in the morning during the busiest time of day. So 3-4 of the 8 elevators are out of service.

I came back in the afternoon on two occasions and guess what. All the elevators were running. Makes no sense. Unless, the elevator repair unions don't allow their members to work after 1 p.m. That would be a nice gig.

P.S. I subsequently heard a rumor that someone had a heart attack on the elevator which caused some of the delay. But that doesn't explain the yellow signage that had been shutting out some of the elevators all week. In fact, I would venture to guess that because of the stress of the elevator situation and the extreme crowding caused by it on the few remaining operating elevators, that this may well have contributed to the person's reported heart attack.

Poor Little Rich Girl

How sad a day it is when socialite millionairesses are held to the same standards as the wretched, huddled masses that tune in to their reality TV shows. Paris Hilton has fired her publicist for allegedly mis-informing her that she could drive following Paris' DUI plea. Poor little Paris didn't know her license was suspended. Despite being told by the police on at least one prior occasion before prosecutors moved to revoke her probation. Of course, in the end, it's up to each driver to be responsible for knowing the status of his or her license. "I'm very busy and didn't ask my attorneys about it" doesn't cut it. Neither does going on a radio interview hours after a DUI and saying, "It's no big deal. I just wanted an In-n-Out Burger".

Is this a witch hunt? Well, regardless of what you think of Paris Hilton and her kind, if the treatment she's receiving isn't typical of how DUI probation violators are scrutinized, it should be. Does the D.A. have to wait until she actually kills someone while under the influence? Or even kills herself?

Speaking of which, the DUI issue has raised its head in the case of Josh Hancock, a 29 year old journeyman pitcher for the St. Louis Cardinals. When word of his early morning fatal collision spread, it wasn't long before the question started being raised of whether alcohol was involved. Immediately, apologists rose to the defense of the fallen athlete. "You can't leap to conclusion on this. The tests results aren't back yet." Well, the test results are now back and the conclusions are clear that Hancock had over 2x the legal BAC at the time of his death and marijuana paraphrenalia was also found in his vehicle. Does it make it less of a tragedy for his friends and family? No. But he apparently had opportunities to avoid his demise. Hancock reportedly turned down offers to have a cab called for him.

Now the Cardinals have banned alcohol from the clubhouse. Not necessarily a bad idea given their manager's own DUI problems. It won't stop players from jumping in their luxury automobiles and driving down the road for a drink. But it will insulate the team from potential liability which could have arisen if an intoxicated player were to get loaded in the clubhouse and injured/killed someone. I don't know if Missouri has social host Dram Shop liability but better safe than sorry.

2007 Packers Draft

Haven't had a ton of time to analyze the draft since the weekend what with the move and all but with a few days to reflect I guess the best that can be said is "Wait and see."

The Packers' first round draft pick was interior defensive lineman, Justin Harrell, from Tennessee. He only played 3 games his senior year after blowing out his bicep. Film from his junior year show him to be a high-motor upfield pursuer with long arms. A defensive tackle that can get to the quarterback can help any team and one hopes the Packers did their due diligence in testing his medical condition. A stud wide receiver would have been nice at #16 but after Calvin Johnson, there wasn't a sure-fire impact player at wideout and with a deep draft at that position quality still could be found in later rounds.

The second pick concerns me more. Again, they selected a player with a history of injury problems, junior running back Brandon Jackson from Nebraska. He posted gaudy numbers in split duty but a running back with injuries to both shoulders can be a worry given the pounding they take. He is supposedly a good receiver but needs to work on his blocking (as do most rookie running backs). Scouts have indicated that had he not come out early, he might have been considered the top back in college in 2008. Hopefully, he can replace departed Nebraska alumn, Ahman Green.

The rest of the draft saw the Packers taking WRs James Jones of San Jose State with their 1st 3rd round pick and David Clowney from Virginia Tech in the 5th round. Jones seems to be more of a possession guy with Clowney being the burner who needs to learn how to run routes but can make an immediate impact in the return game.

Needs were filled as they took Hokie safety, Aaron Rouse, in the 3rd round and Division II All-American, Allen Barbre, from Missouri Southern State in round four. Round six saw the Packers taking the top kicker, Mason Crosby, from Colorado who will compete with Dave Raymer. Also Korey Hall, of Boise State, was taken in the 6th as a possible replacement for retired William Henderson at fullback after being converted from his college position of linebacker. The Packers also selected another linebacker, Desmond Bishop, from California in the 6th round. I would have liked to see them take a run at tight end, Ben Patrick, in the 6th round.

Running back, DeShawn Wynn, from Florida was taken in the 7th round and could also compete for the fullback spot. Finally, another need was addressed in the 7th round with tight end, Clark Harris, from Rutgers. Of course, can you really expect needs to be filled in a big way that late in the draft? It definitely can happen but you can't count on it.

While I'd like to wait a couple of years to grade the draft, Packers GM Ted Thompson, probably deserves the benefit of the doubt given how the 2006 draft class was able to step up and contribue right away. So, I'll give the Packers a B-.

Woman Lynched as Vampire

An elderly woman in the South American country of Guyana was accused by a crowd of being an "Old Higue", an evil spirit that drinks the blood of babies. A higue is said to be able to assume the form of an old woman and shrink itself to enter a victim's home through a keyhole.

This is utter nonsense since we all know that vampires can't enter a victim's home without an invitation so the shrinking power really wouldn't do much good. Second, if you can change shape, why pick the form of an old woman? Yeah, it makes you look less threatening to potential victims but still. Third, witch hunts by their nature failed to capture real witches (or in this case vampires) because a real creature of dark power would utilize that power to escape. Such hunts only caught the wrongfully accused and, as Anya on Buffy would say, things never go well for them.

For the full article, click here.