Bloodrayne 2: The Curse of Uwe Boll

Well, German film hack director, Uwe Boll, has unleashed another plague upon the film-viewing community. This time it is Bloodrayne 2: Deliverance. The continuing story of a half-vampire/half-human dhampir now in the American Wild West up against Billy the Kid who, you guessed it, is a vampire. For some reason, Billy the Kid has an eastern European accent and likes killing little children. Other than that, the storyline is more or less incomprehensible. And actually, the audience is better off for it.

The acting is atrocious. The cinematography is bewildering. The dialogue is nauseating. Germany, it should be noted, gives big tax deductions for movies that lose money and Bloodrayne 2 should make accountants happy this year. This time around Kristianna Loken, Michael Madsen, Ben Kingsley, Billy Zane, Michelle Rodriguez and even Meat Loaf, took a pass on the sequel. But Michael Pare' decided he needed the paycheck and takes a role here. Yes, I'm still trying to figure out what Michelle Rodriguez was doing in the first movie.

The videogame on which the Bloodrayne series is ostensibly based is great, campy vampire and Nazi-killing fun. Unfortunately, Boll doesn't care about the fans of the game and only wishes to impose his so-called vision upon the viewer. There is a ham-handed "plot" here but there is nothing remotely compelling about this film.

I'm sure there will be another sequel to lose more money and create more deductions like this direct-to-DVD dreck undoubtedly did. Sadly, like the train-wreck I am driving by, I know it's going to be unpleasant and ugly to look at, but I have to see for myself just how bad it's going to be. Uwe Boll never disappoints in this regard.

Pro-Life Anne Rice Supports Hillary?!?!

Popular vampire fiction writer Anne Rice has endorsed Democratic candidate for President, Hillary Clinton. Throughout the endorsement, Rice referenced her own Christian faith and strong opposition to abortion. Of course, she added the politically correct caveat that she respected the positions of those who disagree with her. Sure.

Rice went on to comment that: "I am keenly aware that Christians disagree violently on what the Gospels say." Really? While there have been historical occasions of intra-faith warfare over the interpretation of the Gospel, to broadly paint the Christian faith with the brush of jihad does a disservice to those of faith how strive for change peacefully. Certainly, nothing like the Sunni vs. Shiite violence can be currently attributed to Christian scriptural conflict. Do we disagree vehemently? You bet. Violently, I don't think so. The abortion bombing cases are the work of a tiny fringe of the anti-abortion/pro-life movement. Those who claim otherwise have another agenda at work.

And much as she is horrified by abortion, she is not sure that Americans should give up the right to abortion. Huh? To proclaim the sanctity of the unborn and then defend the right to murder said unborn is pure blather. Makes my head hurt.

I'm not denying Rice's faith or convictions. Maybe just her logic. I guess that I was most surprised to even hear that she was a practicing Christian. She even has Ave Maria playing as background music on her site. I expected, I dunno, voodoo or something. Or a lapsed Catholic whose books on the occult belied a vindictive abhorrence of Christianity. Apparently not. But the strength of her convictions has given way to backwards logic in this case.

For Sale: Castle Bran

I previously noted that the Romanian government had returned Castle Bran, known as "Dracula's Castle", to the Romanian royal family. Now the royal family has placed the castle on the auction block.

Expected to fetch as much as $135 million dollars (who knows how many Romanian lei that would be), the Romanian government is said to get preferred status to purchase the castle if it can match the best offer of a private buyer. Good luck with that.

Hopefully, whoever buys the castle will treat it with the respect such a historical structure deserves. Even if it wasn't really Dracula's castle and had no real ties to vampiric lore, it's a testament to the longevity of the Transylvanian culture.

Dracula's Castle Returned to Heirs

The Romanian government has returned Castle Bran to the decendents of the Romanian royal family who lost the castle to Communist rule. Castle Bran is associated with Romanian Prince, Vlad Tepes, also known as "Vlad the Impaler". It was based on the history of the Impaler's bloody defense of Romania against the Ottoman Empire that Bram Stoker developed the legend of Dracula.

Of course, while Castle Bran was one of Vlad's important outposts during the 1400s, it is less clear that he actually spent any significant time there. Even less evidence supports any actual vampiric action happening there. But it's old, imposing and against a dark Transylvanian skyline, quite spooky.

For more on the return of Castle Bran to the Romanian royal family, click here.

24

Season six of 24 is almost over. One more episode next week. Two hours long. Hopefully, it will have a satisfying resolution to an otherwise uneven season and story arc(s).

What will be resolved? The whole Chinese Connection plot? Who cares? What I want to know is how the heck the super-competent CTUites manage to get infiltrated and/or invaded every single season. It could be the "redshirts" they keep hiring. But with Star Trek and its progeny off the air, disposable cannon-fodder needs an outlet.

All the other story lines are meaningless. For crying out loud, L.A. was nuked. Where do you go from there? More and bigger nukes? Everything else is kind of a step back. Something definitely needs to be punched up. The whole Chloe/Morris/Milo/Nadia quadrangle has been broken up. At least Kim hasn't been around to whine her way through the show. I would say that they could focus more on the personal relationships of the characters but . . . BORING. The only time relationships should come into play should by when someone dies. Period.

Maybe CTU security can be breached by vampires next and then Jack Bauer would have to inflitrate the vampire coven to retrieve the remnants of the Gem of Amara before the KKK utilize it to create an invulnerable army to repeal civil rights at which time Jack becomes addicted to human blood and Audrey needs to uplink the Shanshu Prophesy to the CTU database but Chloe and Morris are bumping uglies in Bill Buchanan's empty office and don't notice that the KKK has a mole in CTU who has transferred all of American's anti-vampire data to a neo-Nazi sect operating out of Idaho who is trying to frame the Republican Party (who are not reactionary enough for their tastes) by assassinating President Wayne Palmer's brain which has been kept in office in a jar in the White House despite the Vice President's repeated attempts to manipulate Tom Lennox into replacing the brain with the brain of Richard Nixon which has been cryogenically frozen in a bunker at Camp David but the Vice President's operatives inadvertently drop Nixon's brain and replace it with Abbie Normal Hoffman's brain who once in power intends to taint the American food supply with psychotropic mushrooms in an attempt to come up with an interesting plot line for future seasons of 24.

OK, breathe.

Woman Lynched as Vampire

An elderly woman in the South American country of Guyana was accused by a crowd of being an "Old Higue", an evil spirit that drinks the blood of babies. A higue is said to be able to assume the form of an old woman and shrink itself to enter a victim's home through a keyhole.

This is utter nonsense since we all know that vampires can't enter a victim's home without an invitation so the shrinking power really wouldn't do much good. Second, if you can change shape, why pick the form of an old woman? Yeah, it makes you look less threatening to potential victims but still. Third, witch hunts by their nature failed to capture real witches (or in this case vampires) because a real creature of dark power would utilize that power to escape. Such hunts only caught the wrongfully accused and, as Anya on Buffy would say, things never go well for them.

For the full article, click here.

Transylvanian Manor Lures Tourists

MICLOSOARA, Romania - There is only one count in this remote Transylvanian village of 512 souls nestling in the wilds of the Carpathian Mountains - and it isn't Count Dracula.

Count Tibor Kalnoky, a former veterinarian who grew up in France and Germany, moved back to the ancestral home after the fall of communism in 1989. In the last few years he has created one of Romania's most successful tourist ventures out of his ancestral hunting manor - and has counted Britain's Prince Charles among his guests.

Kalnoky's manor, which opened in 2001, lies deep in southern Transylvania, an area where myth and reality are loosely entwined. But you'll hardly hear a word here about Dracula, the Romanian warlord Vlad the Impaler or Bram Stoker's novels. Instead Kalnoky lures guests with the old world of Transylvanian customs.

Many visitors come from Britain and the United States to feast on tasty fare of pork or chicken stew, mashed potato tinged pink by paprika, home-baked cakes served by women dressed in traditional old Hungarian costume. Dinner is washed down with red Romanian wine and guests are warmed by a roaring log fire in the wine cellar before snuggling into decades-old goose eiderdowns in rooms decorated faithfully in the style of the Szeklers - the ethnic Hungarian minority to which Kalnoky belongs.

Take a hike in the hills and you may come across bears and wolves. Bird lovers can look out for eagles, black storks and woodpeckers. You can also travel in a horse and cart for a mountain picnic, cycle to nearby Transylvanian towns or and visit the Kalnoky family hunting lodge. Just north of Miclosoara, there is the cave where the legendary Pied Piper lured the children of Hamelin.

When visitors return to the manor at sundown for dinner, they are serenaded by Szekler music in the soft green drawing room, with antique furniture and dark wooden floors. It's low-key and relaxing.

Kalnoky is modest about his success and the rave reviews he's received over the past few years for his manor and smaller guest houses, which can host a maximum of 20 people. "It's all very unpretentious," says Kalnoky, sipping caraway brandy that is on tap at every moment for the guests.

Article by Alison Mutler, The Associated Press

Happy Valentine's Day

Tiffany Sutton apparently wanted to drink up her lover on Valentine's Day - literally, authorities said. Police early this morning arrested Sutton, who they believe may have tricked her acquaintance into having "kinky sex" so she could drink his blood.The victim, 45, and Sutton, 23, were lying in bed naked at early Wednesday when Sutton asked if he wanted to be tied up and he consented, police said. But that's when Sutton reportedly pulled out a knife and cut the victim's leg, police said. Sutton reportedly told him that she "likes to drink blood" and made several cuts to his upper body, police said. He also said Sutton drank a "little bit" of his blood, police said. He was able to break free, run out of his home, but Sutton reportedly followed with a pickaxe, police said.

The victim passed out before his friend found him covered in blood called the police, police said. The unidentified friend also saw Sutton covered in a blanket with no injuries, police said. "She made very few statements, alludes to the fact that it was a very consensual encounter," said Sgt. Mike Horn, a Tempe police spokesman. "He admitted they were drinking and doing drugs."The victim and Sutton were good acquaintances. Sutton is a transient who had been staying with the victim for two days in the 1000 Block of South Lola Lane, near Apache Boulevard and Loop 101 in a shed behind an unoccupied residence, according to what he had told police. Sutton told police she had been living there.

The victim was taken to a local hospital with non-life threatening injuries and Sutton was booked into Maricopa County Jail on suspicion of aggravated assault, police said.

Article by Sarah Muench, The Arizona Republic

Who would have thought that you needed a clove of garlic and a wooden stake to have protected sex?

Buffy Season 8 Is Coming

Word is out that Joss Whedon will resurrect Buffy (again). Season 8 will be presented in comic book form beginning in March 2007. It will chronicle the Scoobies following the destruction of Sunnydale as well as the effect of an army of Slayerettes running amok. No word on whether a Buffy/Angel movie will ever become a reality before the vampires get too old. But this is something to look forward to at least.

Pre-Order your Buffy #1 here: http://www.tfaw.com/Profile/___14-111?qt=dhprofile1