24

Season six of 24 is almost over. One more episode next week. Two hours long. Hopefully, it will have a satisfying resolution to an otherwise uneven season and story arc(s).

What will be resolved? The whole Chinese Connection plot? Who cares? What I want to know is how the heck the super-competent CTUites manage to get infiltrated and/or invaded every single season. It could be the "redshirts" they keep hiring. But with Star Trek and its progeny off the air, disposable cannon-fodder needs an outlet.

All the other story lines are meaningless. For crying out loud, L.A. was nuked. Where do you go from there? More and bigger nukes? Everything else is kind of a step back. Something definitely needs to be punched up. The whole Chloe/Morris/Milo/Nadia quadrangle has been broken up. At least Kim hasn't been around to whine her way through the show. I would say that they could focus more on the personal relationships of the characters but . . . BORING. The only time relationships should come into play should by when someone dies. Period.

Maybe CTU security can be breached by vampires next and then Jack Bauer would have to inflitrate the vampire coven to retrieve the remnants of the Gem of Amara before the KKK utilize it to create an invulnerable army to repeal civil rights at which time Jack becomes addicted to human blood and Audrey needs to uplink the Shanshu Prophesy to the CTU database but Chloe and Morris are bumping uglies in Bill Buchanan's empty office and don't notice that the KKK has a mole in CTU who has transferred all of American's anti-vampire data to a neo-Nazi sect operating out of Idaho who is trying to frame the Republican Party (who are not reactionary enough for their tastes) by assassinating President Wayne Palmer's brain which has been kept in office in a jar in the White House despite the Vice President's repeated attempts to manipulate Tom Lennox into replacing the brain with the brain of Richard Nixon which has been cryogenically frozen in a bunker at Camp David but the Vice President's operatives inadvertently drop Nixon's brain and replace it with Abbie Normal Hoffman's brain who once in power intends to taint the American food supply with psychotropic mushrooms in an attempt to come up with an interesting plot line for future seasons of 24.

OK, breathe.