Golfer Tripp Isenhour Is a Jerk

PGA Golfer Tripp Isenhour has been charged with killing a protected red shouldered hawk with a well-aimed golf shot while filming a golf video "Shoot Like a Pro". Apparently, the hawk started singing while the video shoot was being conducted.

The golfer first tried to to hit the bird as it sat in a tree about 300 yards away from the video shoot but those attempts were not successful. However, after the hawk moved to a closer tree and started singing, Isenhour again aimed at the the bird, announcing, "I'll get him now."

Investigators allege that after about 10 tries, Isenhou which the hawk with one of his shots and knocked it out of the tree. After killing the bird, which fell 30 feet from its perch, Isenhour remarked, "I didn't think I would hit it," according to witnesses.

The dying hawk, "bleeding from its nostrils, its mouth opening and closing slowly," was later buried on the golf course. Isenhour has been charged in Orange County (Fla.) Court with cruelty to animals and killing a migratory bird.

Reminds me of a girl named Donna I went to school with. On a field trip, we stopped at a park for lunch. Donna went down to the pond and saw a mama duck leading her 5 ducklings on a swim. Naturally, Donna thought it would be great fun to throw rocks at them. After five or six tries, she eventually hit a baby duck which promptly rolled over on its side and died. Donna cried the rest of the day (good) and didn't come back to school the rest of the week (I always liked to imagine she wound up in therapy for that).

While Donna's conduct was repulsive even for a child, Isenhour is 39 year old adult. When I first saw the headline on this, I thought, "Oh, great, the audobon society has got their undies all in a bundle again." I thought it was just an accident like when Randy Johnson, then pitching for the Arizona Diamondbacks, killed a seagull (or possibly a dove) with a pitch. Johnson, a real jerk most of the time, was actually upset by the incident. And it was obviously a fluke occurrence. Not the result of repeated attempts of cruelty.

I don't know what the penalties are but I hope this takes Isenhour of the tour for a good long while. You can always tell bad people by how they treat animals and I know all that I need to know about Isenhour now.

Baby PC

Kerry and I are looking at baby-carriers like the Baby Bjorn ® Active carrier for little Kaiser when he's born. We had originally planned to go with the Active model but Kerry saw a review for the ERGObaby® carrier (which comes in a Hawaiian print pattern). So she sent me the link and I took a look (since the plan is for me to wear the contraption, anyways.

I went to the ERGO site and checked out the customer reviews/testimonials and most were the type of positive "greatest carrier ever" blather that one would expect from a manufacturer's testimonial link. However, I also came across one obnoxious missive wherein the writer whines that there aren't enough instances of ethnic diversity displayed on the site. The company responded by weakly acknowledging that the images don't reflect the company's commitment to diversity but that the models are "local acquaintances". Bah. WHO CARES?!?!

It just ridiculous how now even the models on a baby-carrier site are now subject to quota profiling. I doubt if this whiny P.C. nazi hadn't pointed it out, that anyone would have given a whit about who is modeling the carriers. Now the site has a dark skinned woman of ambiguous ethnic orgins carrying a tow headed, alabaster skinned kid making it look more or less like a possible kidnapping scene. Just silly.

Baby Bjorn®, on the other hand, makes no bones about its Scandanavian origins. The children and parents on their site - even the Chinese language version - all look like they were plucked directly out Stockholm (or Minnesota). We're not going to base our ultimate decision on which carrier to choose on the manufacturer's response to wing-nut criticism of the appearance of a lack of diversity but it just annoyed me for some reason. Yes, I know the old adage that "perception is reality" but the reality is that some squeaky wheels just need to be ignored.

Unfunny Joke/Art Bombs at Airport

You would think that an idiot from M.I.T. would be oxymoronic but it's not. An M.I.T. student allegedly meeting her boyfriend at Boston's Logan International Airport decided to wear a shirt adorned with a circuit board, flashing lights, wiring and a handful of Play-Doh. The unfortunately named Star Simpson now says the shirt was just a piece of art of which she was proud and wanted to display. Huh? It's lame artwork at best and there is a time and place to display that kind of thing and an airport is not it.

It's clearly an example of someone having bad taste in humor/art (not to mention hair), worse judgment and who wanted to stir up attention. Well, she's got it now. She's just not willing to suffer for her "art". It's time for people to realize this kind of asinine behavior will not be tolerated and she should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law possible. It's not like the illegal nature of making jokes about having a bomb hasn't been well-known even well before 9/11. Star Simpson needs to find out that these laws are in place for the protection of the citizenry and are to be taken seriously even if your parents are dopes who gave you a name making you destined to stupidly seek the spotlight no matter the consequences.

For more on this click HERE.

O.J. Redux

Yes, he's back in the news. Taking a break from his continued search of golf courses across America for the "true killers" of his wife and Ron Goldman, O.J. Simpson now finds himself charged with 10 felony charges and a misdemeanor that could potentially put him away for the rest of his life. The new charges stem from his "alleged" armed attack of a sports memorabilia dealer who was selling O.J.-related merchandise.

I would think that the memorabilia O.J. claimed to be retrieving would actually have belonged to the Goldman and Brown families based on the civil verdict entered against O.J. Most likely, O.J. gave the stuff to the memorabilia dealer to keep the Goldmans and Browns from getting at it and eventually the dealer decided that O.J. couldn't legally come after him for it. Of course, he forgot with whom he was dealing. The key word there is "legally". How ironic would it be that O.J. could literally get away with murder and then get put away for life based on this kind of matter. It would definitely be poetic.

Maybe he felt jealous of Michael Vick receiving all the anti-football player hatred and wanted people to remember that O.J. is the real deal when it comes to heinous acts and as horrible as Vick's treatment of the dogs was, O.J. can and has done him one better.

A Dr. Suess Parody that made the rounds on the internet a while back:

I did not kill my lovely wife.
I did not slash her with a knife.
I did not bonk her on the head.
I did not know that she was dead.

I stayed at home that fateful night.
I took a cab, then took a flight.
The bag I had was just for me.
My bag! My bag! Hey, leave it be.

When I came home I had a gash.
My hand was cut from broken glass.
I cut my hand on broken glass.
A broken glass did cause that gash.

I have nothing, nothing to hide.
My friend, he took me for a ride.

Did you take this person's life?
Did you do it with a knife?

I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not, kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not, anytime.

Did you hit her from above?
Did you drop this bloody glove?

I did not hit her from above.
I cannot even wear that glove.
I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not, kill my wife.

I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not, anytime.

And now I'm free, I can return
To my house for which I yearn.
And to my family whom I love.
Hey now I'm free -- Give back my glove!!

You can also read O.J.'s new book, "If I Robbed Him": Article

Thugs of a Feather

Terrell Owens has spoken out on the Mike Vick dogfighting scandal. While careful to make it clear that he doesn't (currently) participate in dogfighting, he believes dogfighting is a cultural part of the south (like in-breeding). But as can be seen in the picture above, dog fighting isn't necessariliy a racial or cultural thing, it's a hooligan/thuggish thing, even if the hooligans and thugs are wearing top hats or all the bling in the world.

The Dallas Morning News reports Owens as saying: "I don't condone Michael Vick's actions with the dog fighting," Owens said. "I've been exposed to it and it's something that's very unfortunate for Mike. I think he'll learn from this situation and move on from it. When I mentioned cultural thing, [it's] just like when people go out and they hunt deer," he said. "They hunt deer and they cut their heads off and they go to mount them on the wall. And they are animals as well. I don't see a big difference in the situation. "

Owens doesn't see a big difference because he is a moron. Deer are hunted and they instinctively know they are being hunted by humans and others. They have colorations, senses and quickness to assist them in eluding their predators. Dogs are companions who do not understand that these humans are hurting/killing them. At the end of the day dogfightling leaves dog dead and a human with pocketsful of money going "Yippee! Yippee!"

So T.O. has joined such mental luminaries as running back, Clinton Portis (alumn of the University of Miami, Fla. school of thuggery) and Whoopi "It's My First Day, I Have To Be Controversial" Goldberg. On the plus side, at least ESPN got rid of Michael Irvin so we aren't subjected to his nightly apologism for Mike Vick and other thugs who happen to be athletes.

Bye Bye Con-Vick

So Michael Vick plans to plead guilty to federal charges of dog fighting and conspiracy. What a surprise. At least now we can put an end to the deluge of "innocent until proven guilty" from the Vick apologists. And it's not "innocent until proven guilty" it's "deemed innocent in the eyes of the law until proven guilty". The court of public opinion can rule long before any judge or jury. Moreover, just because a judge or jury hasn't heard the facts doesn't mean that the accused didn't do it. When you commit a crime, you're guilty even if you're not charged, tried or convicted. It's only in the eyes of the law that you are deemed "not guilty".

In some judical systems is phrased as "not proven guilty" which acknowledges that sometimes while the prosecutor may not have proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt, it doesn't mean that the accused is necessarily innocent. O.J. would fit into that category.

But with Vick, such technical legal quandries are moot. He's guilty. He may come back at some later date saying that he only pled guilty because his friends and associates were willing to frame him to cut a better deal but I don't think the public is going to buy that load. He's a scumbag and deserves whatever prison sentence he gets.

I get so sick of talk show hosts criticizing the guys who turn state's evidence. They act like the Goodfellas code is a good thing that shouldn't be violated. That's B.S. Citizens of an honest society should work with law enforcement to bring criminals to justice. Otherwise, the bad guys have the upper hand and the world is worse off because of it. Or we could just turn to vigilante justice which is always fun too!

Anywho, does this mean he should be banned from football for life? Probably not for the dogfighting charges alone. Once he serves his sentence and whatever suspension the NFL imposes, he should be allowed to pursue gainful employment even as a multi-million dollar football player. That is allowed to try. Hopefully, NFL teams will weigh the pros and cons (no pun intended) of hiring and will realize the damage to their franchise's reputation isn't worth it. Moreover, depending on the length of his sentence/suspension who knows if he'll be the same player he once was or even if he'll be a viabile player at the pro level. CFL get ready! Or maybe the Raiders would want him since they probably still won't have their 1st round QB pick this year signed by then.











Right back at you, Mike.

Dirty Bomber: Guilty

So after winning his fight to be tried, Jose Padilla has been convicted of federal support of terrorism charges. Out of the frying pan and into the fire. Kudos to Padilla's legal team.

Some in my office have said, "We'll it's about time after we've been feeding and housing him for all these years." Not to mention the waterboarding.

At least I hope we did. We certainly should now.

Dumb "Jock" of the Week

There are dumb comments from athletes and there are dumb comments from athletes. South African golfer Rory Sabbatini drew some attention back in May when he opined that Tiger Woods was "more beatable now than ever." This was after Sabbatini had blown a one stroke lead on Tiger and finished tied for third (Woods finished first).

Then Sunday, Sabbatini starts the final round of the Bridgestone International Tournament tied with Woods. The two are paired for the final round and the results are predictable. Woods shoots 5 under and Sabbatini soiled himself with a plus 4. Sabbatini still managed to finished tied for second which is a remarkable feat but don't try to cast youself as Tiger's rival with ridiculous comments.

The worst thing about the Sabbatini debacle on Sunday (the debacle itself was magnificent) was that on the 18th hole, a spectator called out Sabbatini by asking him if he still thought Woods was beatable. Showing a remarkably thin skin, Sabbatini had the spectator thrown off the course. What a sack. If you tug on Superman's cape, you deserve what you get. Sabbatini was trying to draft off the greatness that is Tiger Woods but ultimately only showed that he too is unfit to carry Tiger's jockstrap (do golfers wear jockstraps?).

I'd Buy a Ticket to This Game

"YOU DA MAN!" TEST

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:

A. Lovemaking
B. Screwing
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:

A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
B. Your blood test results
C. Five tequila slammers

3. You time your orgasm so that:

A. Your partner climaxes first
B. You both climax simultaneously
C. You don't miss SportsCenter

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing to which your wife/girlfriend would agree.
C. Not the sort of thing about which your wife/girlfriend need ever to find out.

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman with whom you've just had sex is:

A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.

6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:

A. No concern to you.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:

A. A myth.
B. An oxymoron.
C. A Moron.

8. Foreplay is to sex as:

A. Appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?

A. "I hope we can still be friends."
B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
C. "Welcome to Dumpsville, population: YOU."

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with the intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Should never have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.

EVALUATING RESULTS: If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you ARE a man!! If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're a little confused. If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!"

The Canadian Mental Cripple-r

Professional wrestler, Chris Benoit, hanged himself Monday, June 25, 2007 after murdering his wife, Nancy Daus-Benoit (left) and their seven year-old son, Daniel, over the weekend. Benoit, professionally known as the "Canadian Crippler" and the "Rabid Wolverine", cancelled a pay-per-view on Friday due to a "family emergency".

The WWE cancelled its Monday Night RAW programming on the 25th replacing it with a tribute to Benoit. I know that in the wrestling industry always wants to pay tribute to its fallen stars like Owen Hart and Eddie Guererro but Benoit deserves no tribute and giving him one before the facts were in showed extremely bad judgment. Owen Hart died in a tragic on-the-job accident and while Eddie Guererro's years of alcohol, drugs and (obvious) steroid use contributed to his heart failure, at least he didn't murder anyone else.

Think it's possible that 'Roid Rage contributed to Benoit's actions? Maybe. But that doesn't avoid his responsibility. Any steroids he took, he took willingly. He was fully responsible for his heinous actions.

While the WWE claims to have cleaned up its act regarding steroids, wrestlers like Triple H keep getting bigger and bigger. I don't even think he could hang himself since he no longer has a neck.

The world need to wash its hands of Chris Benoit. And that's the bottom line, cuz Blog Dog says so.

Justice Prevails

Washington D.C. Administrative Law Judge, Roy Pearson, lost a lawsuit involving pants that he took to a dry cleaners and subsequently were misplaced. The pants were ultimately found again but that didn't satisfy Pearson. He filed suit against the shop for the misplacement of the pants and for violation of a D.C. consumer protection statute -- the cleaners had a "satisfaction guaranteed" sign on the wall and since the judge wasn't satisfied, the store breached its warranty under the statute. The claim on the lost pants were subsequently dropped. The lawsuit sought damages in excess of $54 million dollars.

$10,000's worth of defense attorney's fees later, the dry cleaner operators prevailed with the judge hearing the claim ruled that the dry cleaners did not owe Pearson anything and that Pearson would have to pay approximately $5,000 in the defendants' court costs. The judge reserved ruling on whether Pearson will have to pay the defendant's attorney's fees.

The American Bar Association is looking into sanctions against Pearson for filing a frivolous lawsuit and action has been instituted directed at removing Pearson from office. As an ALJ, it is unlikely that Pearson was voted into office but he can be removed by those who appointed him. Losing a $100,000 job seems to be worth his vindictive pursuit of this joke of a claim.

For more on this story, click here.

A Double Standard?

OK, Sammy Sosa has hit his 600th home run. And even though I am quite positive that he juiced up during the 90s, I don't have the same level of distain for him as I do for Barry Bonds. Why is that? I'm pretty sure it's not racism.

Maybe it's because that throughout most of his career, Sammy was a cuddly, fan friendly "Base-a-ball hab bin beddy beddy good to me" kind of player; whereas Bonds has been a giant douche-bag since he came to the majors.
But I think it goes deeper than that. Sammy is not going to get 700 home runs and is not going to challenge Hank Aaron's record. If he were closing in on 755, I might rethink my position on that.

Also, he got number 600 against his former team, the hapless Chicago Cubs. I always like a bit of ironic twist. So good on you, Sammy. Now go away.

Calling It Like He Sees It

I was listening to tonight's Brewers-Giants game online (MLB Gameday Audio) and in the bottom of the 3rd with the Brewers leading 3-1, Brewers rookie third baseman, Ryan Braun, came up to bat with a man on first. Braun flew out routinely to Barry Bonds in left field and a chorus of boos decended upon Bonds as he made the catch.

Brewers broadcaster, Jim Powell (the great Bob Uecker's broadcast partner), commented that "Bonds gets booed for just catching a flyball. As well he should. He gets booed going to the grocery store. He certainly gets booed going to the drug store." I nearly wet myself with laughter.

I don't think that's Major League Baseball's official party-line but I'm sure it voiced the sentiments of many. It certainly voiced my sentiments regarding Bonds and his tainted pursuit of Hank Aaron's record. I just wonder if Powell can get into trouble for the comments. Hopefully, he'll be on the air tomorrow night with more on-the-nose commentary and analysis.

Michael Vick Dog Fighting

Michael Vick has sold the property which he says his family "mis-used" by engaging in dogfighting. He has sold the $700,000 property for about a 50% loss. Whether Vick actually had knowledge of or engaged in the dogfighting remains to be determined but given the trouble he and his brother continually find themselves in, it's not hard to imagine that they would be involved in something like this.

That said, dogfighting is the domain of the moron. Guys (yes, I'm assuming the vast majority of dogfighting "fans" are guys) like that are definitely low on the IQ scale and probably are missing more than a few DNA chromosomes. It's the dogfighting fan that makes professional wrestling fans seem like cultural elites. Yech.

Update: Washington Redskins running back Clinton Portis issues a proclamation on the Mike Vick dog fighting issue: "I don't know if he was fighting dogs or not, but it's his property, it's his dog. If that's what he wants to do, do it. I think people should mind their business." Regardless of the legality and cruelty. To read everything this mental pygmy has to say click here.

We Gotta Get Out Of This Place...

...if it's the last thing we ever do.

Tonight around 10 p.m. there was some loud yelling down by the entryway. As the weather gets warmer the COPS refugees come out. The chunky girl who lives on our floor was out with her shirtless boyfriend who is either a total jackass or drunk or both. The yelling went on for about a half hour when apparently someone yelled at him to shut up. He yelled back and stormed around in a classic white trash rant.

Eventually, he wound up swinging on a light pole like a stripper until he got bored with that and decided to kick the pole until it broke. That's when I decided to call the sheriff's department. Someone else had already reported it and units were en route.

Just before they arrived, the "perps" disappeared in the darkness. But being loud and obnoxious, they couldn't conceal themselves for long. The boyfriend was caught in the lobby of the building and the girlfriend ran to her condo unit only to be quickly tracked down. I should note the deputies were very polite.

It looked like one of the other residents rode off with the police to make a report but they didn't arrest the hillbillies. I have no idea why not but I intend to find out. In any event, within 15 minutes of the deputies leaving, the rednecks were back outside. This time yelling at each other. They apparently left the side door of the building out where my cars were parked. I swear if there is anything wrong with my cars in the morning, there will be hell to pay.

Kerry and I so need to get out of this complex before the white trash element completely take it over. We really need the neighbors wrecking the place while we're trying to get ready to sell.

Parents behaving badly

February 15, 2007, 2:07 PM CST

AURORA, Ill. -- A father bounded into a youth wrestling match, picked up his son's winning opponent and launched him out of the ring, an episode caught on a home video.

After tossing the 11-year-old boy into the air Sunday, the angry father headed toward the cameraman, the father of the airborne boy.

"I was just wrestling, then the guy throws me," the boy, Nick Nasenbeny of suburban Aurora, told WMAQ-TV in Chicago. It was not known if the boy was injured.

Ray Hoffman, the father in the video and a part-time wrestling coach, told the television station he regrets his behavior and feels embarrassed. He said his son's shoulder was injured. Hoffman also said he will no longer be allowed to coach.

Dean Bogess, a wrestling coach who attended the meet in suburban Rolling Meadows, said Nick was using a legal move to pin his opponent and that the referee was about to stop the match when Hoffman intervened.

"The match was being stopped. He had blown his whistle already," Bogess said.

Nick's father, Dan Nasenbeny, said he was stunned by Hoffman's actions.

"I mean, there is a lot of different ways to stop a match. Not to pick up my son and launch him 5 feet, 10 feet in the air," Nasenbeny said.

Hoffman did not return messages left Thursday by The Associated Press.


Copyright © 2007, The Associated Press

Why NBA Players Suck

Associated Press

SACRAMENTO (AP) - Animal services officers seized a Great Dane from the mansion of Sacramento Kings star Ron Artest, saying the dog was underfed. Neighbors complained for weeks that the dog - named Socks - appeared to be starving inside a gated area on Artest's $1.85 million estate in rural Loomis, according to a county report. On Jan. 30, animal services officers visited Artest's home and issued a "pre-seizure" notice, warning him that the female Great Dane would be taken into custody if the animal care didn't improve.

Placer County animal services officers returned to Artest's home Monday and removed Socks. Artest has 10 days to request a hearing, county spokeswoman Anita Yoder said. Artest's publicist, Heidi Buech, declined to comment when reached by The Associated Press on Wednesday. The episode has so upset neighbors in Artest's gated community that the homeowners' association plans to vote next week on guidelines that would require members to properly care for their animals.

Artest signed with the Kings last January for $7.15 million this season and $7.8 million in 2007-08, with an $8.45 million player option for 2008-09.

See Artest's lame excuses: http://www.kcra.com/news/10956780/detail.html