Chuck Norris

• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.



• Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.



• Chuck Norris once commented, "There are few problems in this world that cannot be solved by a swift roundhouse kick to the face. In fact, there are none."



• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.



• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.



• If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.



• Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.



• There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.



• When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.



• Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.



• Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.



• Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.



• There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.



• When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1.... 1 roundhouse kick to the face.



• Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, CHUCK NORRIS decides what time it is.

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