U.S. Out of Neverland

Not sure if I think this photograph is entirely appropriate given the daily death and destruction afflicted upon the civilian population in Iraq by the so-called "insurgents" (read: terrorists). Nevertheless, it's still pretty funny.

Major League

When the Brewers are losing (which they've been doing far too much of lately), I like to pop in the old Major League DVD. I still haven't been able to spot myself in the stadium shots in old (and now defunct) Milwaukee County Stadium or in the aerial shots over (the also defunct) Municipal Stadium in Cleveland. But it's still a fun movie.

That said, several things about the movie have always bugged me. First of all, the thought that a team would be able to cut their entire roster to bring in cheaper talent never made sense since all major league players have guaranteed contracts. One would think it would be great for the players if the Indians cut them. If they had any talent, they'd catch on elsewhere with a better team for more pay or if they didn't, they'd still get paid until their contract expired.

When Rick Vaughn (Charlie Sheen) got the fake "red tag" in his locker indicating that he'd been cut from the major league roster, he went ballistic on manager, Lou Brown (James Gammon), saying that he'd catch on with another team and stick it up Brown's ass for cutting him. Uh, Ricky...when you get cut from the major league roster because you're not quite ready, you usually get sent to the minors. Not released outright." Duh.

Next, the "problem" of third baseman Roger Dorn (Corbin Bernsen) being all bat and no glove would have been easy to fix. The Indians are an American League team. He just would have been made a designated hitter. Problem solved.

The speed and lack of conscience with which Lynn Westland (Rene Russo) cheats on her fiancee with Jake Taylor (Tom Berenger) is disturbing. But that might just be a moral issue that I have don't share with the Hollywood crowd.

While I've never been to spring training camp, I'm pretty sure that major league players would not be bunking together like they were at summer basketball camp. Even with the league minimum being a "mere" $68,000 in 1989 (it would go up to $100,000 by 1990 and is $380,000 now), one would think that players such as Dorn and Eddie Harris (Chelcie Ross) who had been in the league for several years - and make considerably more than the minimum - would find their own accomodations even at a Motel 6 rather than barracks style bedding. Maybe minor leaguers and non-roster invitee might do that but veterans? No.

Finally, the "hunch" that led Brown to bring in "Wild Thing" Vaughn to face Clu Haywood (former Milwaukee Brewers pitcher Pete Vuckovich) with the game on the line and given Vaughn's inability to keep Haywood from hitting every pitch out of the ballpark is completely absurd. But it makes for good theater.

Of course, that's all nit-picking. It's still a great movie.

Remembering Westley

Today would have been Westley's 17th Birthday. Although I called him the "Supplemental Schnauzer" to Peanuts' greatness, he never let that get him down. He was great in his own goofy way and I miss him.

Rest in Peace, Little Guy.
(1990-2006)

They Grow Up So Fast

I'm pretty sure Elmo isn't looking at the flowers OR the dirt. For those of you slow on the uptake, see below:

Sliding Towards September

Can this team ever hold a lead? Off to a 3-0 lead through 5, the Brewers fall apart in Colorado to get killed 11-4. This after a week of blowing 5 and 6 run leads. Including Sunday's choke job against the Phillies where they gave away a 5 run advantage going into the top of the 9th at home. They haven't recovered from that yet and probably won't.

The Brewers are repeatedly blowing games with a bullpen that is 50/50 at best to get anyone out. Pitcher Matt Wise hasn't recovered from shattering a Cincinnati Red's face two weeks ago. Now he's afraid to pitch inside. When he does occasionally find the plate with a pitch, he throws a batting practice meatball that gets drilled. I thought our bullpen problems were solved when they traded away Grant Balfour (or "Grant Ball Four") and actually got more than a bag of used balls in return. But no, the problems were just beginning.

Yes, the Cubs aren't winning right now either but they're dealing with the injury to Soriano gutting their offense. The Brewers aren't pitching, aren't hitting and the managerial decisions are questionable. At least they're consistent top to bottom. I guess that's something. And we have Youvonni Gallardo pitching tomorrow so maybe we can salvage a game in the series against the Rockies.

8/8/07 Update: Nope, Gallardo wasn't the the stopper today. He got shelled for 11 runs in 2-2/3 innings. His ERA went from #5 in the National League at 2.30 (or thereabouts) to 4.90. Yeech. Oh, and the Brewers lost 19-4.

Dumb "Jock" of the Week

There are dumb comments from athletes and there are dumb comments from athletes. South African golfer Rory Sabbatini drew some attention back in May when he opined that Tiger Woods was "more beatable now than ever." This was after Sabbatini had blown a one stroke lead on Tiger and finished tied for third (Woods finished first).

Then Sunday, Sabbatini starts the final round of the Bridgestone International Tournament tied with Woods. The two are paired for the final round and the results are predictable. Woods shoots 5 under and Sabbatini soiled himself with a plus 4. Sabbatini still managed to finished tied for second which is a remarkable feat but don't try to cast youself as Tiger's rival with ridiculous comments.

The worst thing about the Sabbatini debacle on Sunday (the debacle itself was magnificent) was that on the 18th hole, a spectator called out Sabbatini by asking him if he still thought Woods was beatable. Showing a remarkably thin skin, Sabbatini had the spectator thrown off the course. What a sack. If you tug on Superman's cape, you deserve what you get. Sabbatini was trying to draft off the greatness that is Tiger Woods but ultimately only showed that he too is unfit to carry Tiger's jockstrap (do golfers wear jockstraps?).

Jack Bauer Goes Green

So now the makers of 24 are looking to reduce the carbon footprint the production of the show creates. Blah, blah, blah. Instead of worrying about that, how about trying to reduce the methane released into the environment from a stinkeroo of a season like last year's. Maybe Jack's jumped the shark.

I'm also a little sick of the so-called "inconvenient truth" of global warming in general. It's hip and trendy to be green despite Kermit's protestations otherwise. But this pseudo-science has been declared uncontrovertable even though there was another global calamity about to befall us even within my lifetime. As George Will pointed out in his April 2, 2006 article:

"Science magazine (Dec. 10, 1976) warned of 'extensive Northern Hemisphere glaciation.' Science Digest (February 1973) reported that 'the world's climatologists are agreed' that we must 'prepare for the next ice age.' The Christian Science Monitor ('Warning: Earth's Climate is Changing Faster Than Even Experts Expect,' Aug. 27, 1974) reported that glaciers 'have begun to advance,' 'growing seasons in England and Scandinavia are getting shorter' and 'the North Atlantic is cooling down about as fast as an ocean can cool.' Newsweek agreed ('The Cooling World,' April 28, 1975) that meteorologists 'are almost unanimous' that catastrophic famines might result from the global cooling that the New York Times (Sept. 14, 1975) said 'may mark the return to another ice age.' The Times (May 21, 1975) also said 'a major cooling of the climate is widely considered inevitable' now that it is 'well established' that the Northern Hemisphere's climate 'has been getting cooler since about 1950.'"

I remember back in the early 70s worrying that humans would go the way of the dinosaurs. Well, they milked all the research funding they could out of global cooling and then did a 180 to claim that the sky was now falling because of global warming. Sure. And then we'll need money to divert an Astroid from a collision course with earth. Of course, then we can just send Jack Bauer or Bruce Willis up to take care of things.