Obama's Tax Limbo Rock

From Fausta's Blog

Every working boy and girl
All around the working world
Gonna do the tax you rock
All around the tax you clock
Joe the Plumber asked The One™
“How much ‘fore I gotta run?”
‘O’ said, “Quarter Mil’s a lock,
‘Til I do the tax you rock”

Tax you lower now
Tax you lower now
How low can you go

First it was two-fifty K
That hardly lasted a day
Why don’t we just call it two,
But you know that we’re not through
Gonna drop the cap some more
‘Til it’s resting on the floor
All around the tax you clock
Hey, let’s do the tax you rock

la la la etc

Redistribution is our goal
Acquire power, sell our soul
Now it’s one fifty, so says Joe
A hundred twenty’s not too low
We will tax you til your sick
If we find a rate that sticks
Take what you have worked hard for
And just give it to the “poor”

Let’s move that tax you bar
Make you a tax you star
How low can you go

Sweep the Leg -- Kick Ass Video

Golfer Tripp Isenhour Is a Jerk

PGA Golfer Tripp Isenhour has been charged with killing a protected red shouldered hawk with a well-aimed golf shot while filming a golf video "Shoot Like a Pro". Apparently, the hawk started singing while the video shoot was being conducted.

The golfer first tried to to hit the bird as it sat in a tree about 300 yards away from the video shoot but those attempts were not successful. However, after the hawk moved to a closer tree and started singing, Isenhour again aimed at the the bird, announcing, "I'll get him now."

Investigators allege that after about 10 tries, Isenhou which the hawk with one of his shots and knocked it out of the tree. After killing the bird, which fell 30 feet from its perch, Isenhour remarked, "I didn't think I would hit it," according to witnesses.

The dying hawk, "bleeding from its nostrils, its mouth opening and closing slowly," was later buried on the golf course. Isenhour has been charged in Orange County (Fla.) Court with cruelty to animals and killing a migratory bird.

Reminds me of a girl named Donna I went to school with. On a field trip, we stopped at a park for lunch. Donna went down to the pond and saw a mama duck leading her 5 ducklings on a swim. Naturally, Donna thought it would be great fun to throw rocks at them. After five or six tries, she eventually hit a baby duck which promptly rolled over on its side and died. Donna cried the rest of the day (good) and didn't come back to school the rest of the week (I always liked to imagine she wound up in therapy for that).

While Donna's conduct was repulsive even for a child, Isenhour is 39 year old adult. When I first saw the headline on this, I thought, "Oh, great, the audobon society has got their undies all in a bundle again." I thought it was just an accident like when Randy Johnson, then pitching for the Arizona Diamondbacks, killed a seagull (or possibly a dove) with a pitch. Johnson, a real jerk most of the time, was actually upset by the incident. And it was obviously a fluke occurrence. Not the result of repeated attempts of cruelty.

I don't know what the penalties are but I hope this takes Isenhour of the tour for a good long while. You can always tell bad people by how they treat animals and I know all that I need to know about Isenhour now.

Brett Favre Squared

Parents of twin boys born in Florida, March 5, 2008 have named the boys "Brett" and "Favre". I think people need to get off of our plan to name our son, "Kaiser".

The Gunslinger Rides Out of Town

After the season ended in January, I wrote that even after coming off of an MVP type year and with all signs logically pointing otherwise, Favre was just enough of a contrarian to go and retire. Unfortunately, I was right (again). Thanks for the memories, Number 4.

It Ain't Easy...

So now the HRC campaign is up in arms about MSNBC commentator, David Shuster's, quit that the Clinton campaign had "pimped out" 27-year old Chelsea by having her place phone calls to celebrities and Democratic Party "superdelegates" on her mother's behalf. If the Clintonites are going to bring Chelsea into the world of politics, they have to accept the unpleasantness that comes with the territory. When Chelsea was a teenager, the comments about her looks were definitely out-of-bounds. But now, if they're gonna have her play in the muck, they have to expect her to get dirty.

And, really, to say that someone involved with Presidential politics is being "pimped out" is hardly the worst thing that can be said about them, no?

Tuxedo Junction?

Greetings!!!

HI, WIFEY!!!

What Would Jesus Dell?

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.

They faxed.

They e-mailed.

They e-mailed with attachments.

They downloaded.

They did spreadsheets!

They wrote reports.

They created labels and cards.

They created charts and graphs.

They did some genealogy reports.

They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: "It's gone! It's all GONE! "I lost everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.

Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he still has all his work and I don't have any?"

God just shrugged and said, JESUS SAVES

Baby PC

Kerry and I are looking at baby-carriers like the Baby Bjorn ® Active carrier for little Kaiser when he's born. We had originally planned to go with the Active model but Kerry saw a review for the ERGObaby® carrier (which comes in a Hawaiian print pattern). So she sent me the link and I took a look (since the plan is for me to wear the contraption, anyways.

I went to the ERGO site and checked out the customer reviews/testimonials and most were the type of positive "greatest carrier ever" blather that one would expect from a manufacturer's testimonial link. However, I also came across one obnoxious missive wherein the writer whines that there aren't enough instances of ethnic diversity displayed on the site. The company responded by weakly acknowledging that the images don't reflect the company's commitment to diversity but that the models are "local acquaintances". Bah. WHO CARES?!?!

It just ridiculous how now even the models on a baby-carrier site are now subject to quota profiling. I doubt if this whiny P.C. nazi hadn't pointed it out, that anyone would have given a whit about who is modeling the carriers. Now the site has a dark skinned woman of ambiguous ethnic orgins carrying a tow headed, alabaster skinned kid making it look more or less like a possible kidnapping scene. Just silly.

Baby Bjorn®, on the other hand, makes no bones about its Scandanavian origins. The children and parents on their site - even the Chinese language version - all look like they were plucked directly out Stockholm (or Minnesota). We're not going to base our ultimate decision on which carrier to choose on the manufacturer's response to wing-nut criticism of the appearance of a lack of diversity but it just annoyed me for some reason. Yes, I know the old adage that "perception is reality" but the reality is that some squeaky wheels just need to be ignored.

Bar Stool Economics

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.

The fifth would pay $1.

The sixth would pay $3.

The seventh would pay $7.

The eighth would pay $12.

The ninth would pay $18.

The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until on e day, the owner threw them a curve. "Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20."

Drinks for the ten now cost just $80. The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so:

The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).

The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).

The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).

The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).

The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).

The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

"I only got a dollar out of the $20,"declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, "But he got $10!"

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man . "I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I did!"

"That's true!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.Professor of Economics, University of Georgia

For those who understand, no explanation is needed.

For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible

More Freaky Pennsylvanian People

ALLENTOWN, Pa. - Police faced a difficult if not impossible task Thursday as they tried to stop the spread of pornographic video and photos of two high school girls, images that were transmitted by cell phone to dozens of the girls' classmates and then to the wider world.

Read the full story HERE.

Always in Pennsylvania

A kinky sex escapade ended this week with the electrocution death of a Pennsylvania woman and the arrest of her husband for manslaughter.

According to cops, Toby Taylor, 37, first claimed that his wife Kirsten was shocked by her hair dryer. But he then admitted that the couple was "into weird sexual behaviors," according to a probable cause affidavit. Taylor then explained that he hooks clips to his wife's nipples and "plugs the cord into a electric strip" and shocks her.

On Wednesday evening, Taylor said, Kirsten removed her clothes, attached the clips, and shocked herself. He then picked up the electric strip and shocked her several more times, adding that he had placed a piece of electric tape over her mouth during the jolts.

After the last shock, Kirsten, 29, "fell over on to her face." Taylor initially thought his wife was joking, but quickly realized she was unconscious. He then dressed her in preparation for driving to the hospital, but instead called 911 when she stopped breathing.

Taylor told investigators that the couple had "been engaging in electric shock sex and other types of extreme bondage for about 2 years." He was charged yesterday with involuntary manslaughter and reckless endangerment and was jailed in the York Count lockup (where he remains in custody on $100,000 bail).

See the mugshot and criminal complaint HERE.

Cheeseburger in Paradise

A crusty old biker, on a summer ride in the country walks into a tavern and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:

CHEESEBURGER: $ 1.50

CHICKEN SANDWICH $2.50

HAND-JOB $100.00

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender serving drinks to a meager looking group of farmers.

"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?

"I was wondering," whispers the old biker, "are you the young lady who gives the hand-jobs?"

"Yes," she purrs, "I am."

The old biker replies, "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger!"

New Car Options

I bought a new Lexus GS320 and returned to the dealer the next day because I couldn't get the radio to work. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated."Nelson," the salesman said to the radio.

The radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?" "Willie!" he continued and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers.

Then he said, "Ray Charles!", and in an instant "Georgia On My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say,"Beethoven," I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, "Beatles," I'd get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, "Assholes!"

Immediately the Venezuelan National Anthem began to play, sung by Barbara Streisand, backed up by The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch. Damn, I LOVE this car!!

As If Anyone Cared

It's Oscar Time. But really, who cares? The awards don't affect my interest in a movie one way or the other. Will there even be an awards show due to the writer's strike? I guess that "Best Screenplay" would be a writer's award. Would they cross the picket lines to get their trophy? Who cares?



Complete list of 80th annual Academy Award nominations announced Tuesday:

1. Best Picture: "Atonement," "Juno," "Michael Clayton," "No Country for Old Men," "There Will Be Blood."

2. Actor: George Clooney, "Michael Clayton"; Daniel Day-Lewis, "There Will Be Blood"; Johnny Depp, "Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street"; Tommy Lee Jones, "In the Valley of Elah"; Viggo Mortensen, "Eastern Promises."

3. Actress: Cate Blanchett, "Elizabeth: The Golden Age"; Julie Christie, "Away From Her"; Marion Cotillard, "La Vie en Rose"; Laura Linney, "The Savages"; Ellen Page, "Juno."

4. Supporting Actor: Casey Affleck, "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford"; Javier Bardem, "No Country for Old Men"; Hal Holbrook, "Into the Wild"; Philip Seymour Hoffman, "Charlie Wilson's War"; Tom Wilkinson, "Michael Clayton."

5. Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett, "I'm Not There"; Ruby Dee, "American Gangster"; Saoirse Ronan, "Atonement"; Amy Ryan, "Gone Baby Gone"; Tilda Swinton, "Michael Clayton."

6. Director: Julian Schnabel, "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly"; Jason Reitman, "Juno"; Tony Gilroy, "Michael Clayton"; Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, "No Country for Old Men"; Paul Thomas Anderson, "There Will Be Blood."

7. Foreign Film: "Beaufort," Israel; "The Counterfeiters," Austria; "Katyn," Poland; "Mongol," Kazakhstan; "12," Russia.

8. Adapted Screenplay: Christopher Hampton, "Atonement"; Sarah Polley, "Away from Her"; Ronald Harwood, "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly"; Joel Coen & Ethan Coen, "No Country for Old Men"; Paul Thomas Anderson, "There Will Be Blood."

9. Original Screenplay: Diablo Cody, "Juno"; Nancy Oliver, "Lars and the Real Girl"; Tony Gilroy, "Michael Clayton"; Brad Bird, Jan Pinkava and Jim Capobianco, "Ratatouille"; Tamara Jenkins, "The Savages."

10. Animated Feature Film: "Persepolis"; "Ratatouille"; "Surf's Up."

11. Art Direction: "American Gangster," "Atonement," "The Golden Compass," "Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street," "There Will Be Blood."

12. Cinematography: "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford," "Atonement," "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly," "No Country for Old Men," "There Will Be Blood."

13. Sound Mixing: "The Bourne Ultimatum," "No Country for Old Men," "Ratatouille," "3:10 to Yuma," "Transformers."

14. Sound Editing: "The Bourne Ultimatum," "No Country for Old Men," "Ratatouille," "There Will Be Blood," "Transformers."

15. Original Score: "Atonement," Dario Marianelli; "The Kite Runner," Alberto Iglesias; "Michael Clayton," James Newton Howard; "Ratatouille," Michael Giacchino; "3:10 to Yuma," Marco Beltrami.

16. Original Song: "Falling Slowly" from "Once," Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova; "Happy Working Song" from "Enchanted," Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz; "Raise It Up" from "August Rush," Nominees to be determined; "So Close" from "Enchanted," Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz; "That's How You Know" from "Enchanted," Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz.

17. Costume: "Across the Universe," "Atonement," "Elizabeth: The Golden Age," "La Vie en Rose," "Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street."

18. Documentary Feature: "No End in Sight," "Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience," "Sicko," "Taxi to the Dark Side," "War/Dance."

19. Documentary (short subject): "Freeheld," "La Corona (The Crown)," "Salim Baba," "Sari's Mother."

20. Film Editing: "The Bourne Ultimatum," "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly," "Into the Wild," "No Country for Old Men," "There Will Be Blood."

21. Makeup: "La Vie en Rose," "Norbit," "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End."

22. Animated Short Film: "I Met the Walrus," "Madame Tutli-Putli," "Meme Les Pigeons Vont au Paradis (Even Pigeons Go to Heaven)," "My Love (Moya Lyubov)," "Peter & the Wolf."

23. Live Action Short Film: "At Night," "Il Supplente (The Substitute)," "Le Mozart des Pickpockets (The Mozart of Pickpockets)," "Tanghi Argentini," "The Tonto Woman."

24. Visual Effects: "The Golden Compass," "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End," "Transformers."

A Great Season With a Bad Ending

So the Packers fall at home to the Giants 23-20 in overtime and fail in their bid to go to the Super Bowl. The Packers gave the Giants plenty of opportunities to win and the Giants finally cashed in.

Favre didn't have his best game. His second interception was a killer but the game plan installed by Head Coach Mike McCarthy was questionable. Although, Eli Manning threw the ball 40 times to Favre's 35 times, the Giants had many more snaps and a far higher number of rushing attempts than did the Packers (39-14). Why the Packers didn't run more a week after Ryan Grant went for 201 yards is puzzling. Yeah, the yards weren't there early but you can't just give up on the running game.

All-Pro Cornerback Al Harris was overmatched against Giants' wide receiver Plaxico Burress all game. It didn't help matters that Harris played much of the game with an injured foot. But did the Packers make any adjustments to get Harris help? Uh-uh.

Generally, the tackling was about as poor as I've seen from this team this year. Lots of initial hits in the Giants' backfield still resulted in positive yardage when the first contact is made by someone who bounces off. And for the love of all things Lombardi, Jerrod Bush: FALL ON THE FREAKING BALL. DON'T TRY TO PICK IT UP AND RUN, YOU MORON!!!

That said, the Packers had a great season. Far beyond initial expectations. I figured a 9-7 season and a wild-card playoff spot. They're still the youngest team in the league even with the Old Man of the Mountain, Favre, skewing the numbers. If Favre returns, this year's seasoning can only help them understand what they're capable of and what still needs to be done. Of course, I'm not taking anything for granted until I hear Favre say, "I'm back." While it makes all kinds of sense that he'd come back after having an MVP-calibre season personally and a great year for the team overall, he's just nutty enough to do something unexpected like retire. I'm just not quite ready for the Aaron Rodgers era to begin yet.

I'm Back

OK, after a 2 month hiatus to get settled into the new house, I'm back. The BlogDogHouse has been discontinued as it was more about the process of the building of the house rather than the mundane story of day to day living in the house (which has been great, by the way).

So to kick off the new year, here's a funny anecdote from Quantas Airlines. After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. This is apparently Quantas' answer to Southwest Airlines' funny flight attendants.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never crashed, right, Rain Man?

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.